from bash.org.ru and bash.org

[manwithoutface]

<Ashura> По дороге на работу решил выбросить мусор.Подхожу к контейнеру.

<Ashura> (р-н Б.Дорогомиловской, Москва)

<Ashura> В соседнем контейнере роются два бомжа. И вот один вытягивает из мусора книгу.

<Ashura> Название: "Программирование на Турбо-Паскале". И выдает фразу:

<Ashura> - Глянь, Петрович, неужели кто-то еще на "Трубе" пишет?



woman> я пьяная и хочу мужчину, а ты мне про америку.. не актуально

man> а я трезвый и хочу женщину

man> мда, мне наверное нельзя напиваться...



<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?

<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?

<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?



<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now

<@Sony> ...........

<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI

<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing

<Malpine> Thanks for the info

<@David> eh?

<@David> damn i meant PAID

<@David> I get PAID today

<@David> dammit



<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?

<Indidge> umm....nothing?

<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?

<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?

<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller..



<DannyB> some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet

<DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back

<DannyB> and can reload from there if i die

<DannyB> she was confused



<drmason> there was this one time I was wanking to porn...

<drmason> ... I kept a javasсriрt tutorial open in another window so my parents didn't start wondering why I was always on the desktop with no windows showing

<drmason> so I'm just about to splurge when I suddenly hear my dad coming up the stairs

<drmason> alt-tabbed to the other window and tried to pull my boxers up... computer stalled JUST THEN as my dad was opening the door

<drmason> I just stood up and was like "fuck... dad this honestly isn't what it looks like"

<drmason> and he glanced at the screen and said "I sure hope so because it looks like you're masturbating to a fucking javasсriрt tutorial"



<Tedward> so there's this pimp right. he's collecting money from his three ho's.

<Tedward> he goes to the first ho and asks for his $100. she says, "But I only owe you $50!"

<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"

<Tedward> he asks the next ho for $150. she says, "But I only owe you $100!"

<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"

<Tedward> now he goes to his third ho.

<Tedward> he asks for $200. "but I only owe you $150!"

<Tedward> he slaps her and says, "don't correct me, bitch!"

<Tedward> next he visits the fourth ho.

<Tedward> he asks her for his $250.

<Thy_Dungeonman> hold on, wait a sec

<Tedward> what?

<Thy_Dungeonman> you said three ho's, not four. idioth.

*Tedward slaps Thy_Dungeonman

<Tedward> Don't correct me, bitch.