воскресенье, 26 сентября 2004
Women`s English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I`m sorry = You`ll be sorry
We need = I want
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It`s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You`ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don`t want you to.
I`m not upset = Of course I`m upset, you moron!
You`re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You`re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I`m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you`re really not going to like.
I`ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I`m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you`re dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don`t you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.
I`m not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It`s just that you`re such an asshole.
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Men`s English:
"I`m hungry" = I`m hungry.
"I`m sleepy" = I`m sleepy.
"I`m tired" = I`m tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I`d eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What`s wrong?" = I don`t see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What`s wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What`s wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I`m bored." = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you." = Let`s have sex now.
"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we`d better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn`t look that much different!
"Let`s talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you`d like to have sex with me.
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin` dress and let`s go home!
"I don`t think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay
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26.09.2004 в 02:19